Not knowing where he stands is harder to grasp, than not knowing where my own two feet stand. The thought of it trembles my knees, I have only to ask him, but the question kills the atmosphere like a gun shot, loud and deafening. The question to ask would be "Where are you? Where am I?" But the answer could be anything, or nothing. The silence would be pulsing through my ears and my chest, things more clear than before, until there is possibly no reply. The effort to ask the question was wasted. Was it all worth it? The memories? The heart break? The loss? The love? The heart has been torn up, eating at anything close to it. It's failing, losing hope, and then finding new friends, new companions. But it's not the same. Not now. Maybe some time later. But to wait is hard. To wait for the mending to begin is difficult. The Summer. That's all I am asking. July. August. Sun. Stargirl wants it all. No more work. No more stress. No more heartbreak? Does it even seem possible. Not in Stargirl's eyes. She's holding on, holding tight. Still waiting, listening for him to start to talk. For him to come to her for once. It all seems too real. Why can't things be more simple, more joyous like on those camps she spends with her closest friends, why can't they take care of her everyday? It all seems too real.
I've been keeping company with a Ghost.
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