The feeling of having a friend fall for you is heart breaking in itself.

It is not the first time. But the second time this same person has done this. 

Next time I am not to get so close.

 

Does She Not Know How To Sit?

 

I Could Never Be This Neat

To smile:A facial expression characterized by an upward curving of the corners of the mouth and indicating pleasure, amusement, or derision.
I'm sorry, but isn't it SO obvious.

I smile: To hide, sometimes. I'm a VERY smily person, mainly out of habit. It's polite to smile to someone, in recognition and in gesture. And so the other person is to smile back.
If they don't then I feel let down, and upset. I don't show that part. But inside, I'm melting. Falling, feeling embarrassed for making the effort, and upset for no reply. I hate it, despise it. I like to see people smile. Makes things seem la-di-da. You know, hippy happy, maaan. Jeez, all a smile is what is above. God, am I asking for too much. 
I smile too much. Is that even possible? Yep, I think so. I smile when I'm covering things up sometimes, like stress. I smile to everyone I know, even people I truely Hate.
How could I hate someone? If they're rude, impolite, snobby, cocky, or find a reaon to hurt me or someone else. When infact, there should be NO reason.
Apparently, if there were an award for the smiliest person, I'd get it. So thank you. I've never had an award.


Yesterday, in the maths room we all hang out at lunch, I was sat, out of the conversation a little, but staring off. Not smiling this time. And ofcourse someone notices and brings all the attention to me. I look depressed apparently.. thanks? Go away you poo-faces. I wanted to think about things. Am I not allowed to do that? Grrr.

Leo
The atmosphere changed dramatically.
    I couldn't tell if I was asleep or not, but I assumed so. I was no longer heavy and weak; I was as light as a feather, as they say. My feet were no longer touching the ground; I must have been flying.
    My dream was too vague to remember, but there was something I heard while I was lost in sleep.
    A heartbeat?
    I woke up fast, feeling the breeze on my cool neck. The wind whistled in my ears, a beautiful tune of peace.
    I could smell a perfume so familiar to me. I thought I was dreaming. But as I turned, I realised why I could smell that particular scent. My eyes opened wider in amazement to find my girl lying on her side, facing me. Her eyes were shut tightly, looking so graceful as she slept. Her locks of silk brown hair fell, covering one magnificent blue eye. She was breathing heavily, lost in a dream, I only wished I could see.
I missed this girl.
    I thought I had lost her, after everything. In fact, I thought that I had lost. Not only had I lost her, but everything I had worked for.
    She fluttered her eyelids, like butterflies wings, and her eyes stared into mine.
    She smiled. 
    She smiled the smile I saw so many months ago. That smile that made my stomach jump somersaults, the same smile that made my eyes crease at the sides. It also automatically made me smile.
    Her smile then changed to her neutral expression. ‘Shall we go? Maybe we could do this again sometime.’ She gave me the cheeky grin.
    ‘We had better go, to be honest. I bet you I’ve slept in too long.’
    ‘No, I think we had just the right amount of sleep, come on though, let’s go.’ She grabbed my hand and we sprinted through my room, passed the dorm, passed the ‘office’ and outside. Suddenly she pounced into the sky, letting go of my hand immediately. I followed shortly after and caught up with my graceful beauty, quickly grabbing her hand.
    We flew passed all the disaster that happened. We flew passed all of the memories. We were floating in our own promise to be with each other for as long as was possible..

Isn't it rather amazing.. You know.. Dreams. 

It's even better when you can hear them or see them.

I am talking about the sleep walking and talking people

I am one of these people, who cannot control what they do at certain times of the day (Sounds like a werewolf or something) But it's horrible. No control is a wicked thing. Like getting too drunk or too high. (I don't know about those. I've had no experience) But it's so.. different, you could do anything and not realise it. 

Imagine that power, of which you take away a human's control. It would ruin them. Maybe even ruin the people around them. (My thoughts are getting wild here, someone help)

My experiences of sleep-walking or talking normally come in two's.

I once walked into my Parent's room, in the middle of the night and began speaking to them. They knew i was out of it, because my voice was.. somewhat, changed. But i informed them that I had seen a toilet in my room. Then shouted it louder saying it was now in my bed.

Another time, I walked downstairs, passed my Dad, into the Kitchen. I came out holding lots of yogurts in my hands and placed them on the table infront of him. And then I went back to bed.

My other experience was walking down the stairs, passed my Dad again, but I started to rummage through all of our collection of Arts and Crafts (we're such a weird crafty family) And i plonked things on the table. 'What are you doing, sweetheart?' My dad asked. 'I really want to make something,' I said with huge determination on my face. 'What are you wanting to make?' 'I don't know'. I left the things there, and walked to the sofa and feel asleep. My dad told me everything.

I've also had dangerous sleep-walking experiences in unknown places.

This all started once I moved from the small Primary school, to the HUGE High school..

Will you have sexual intercourse within the next two weeks?

Not likely. i.e, no,

Do you think your ex still wants to be with you?

He told me he wanted me, but he's in a relationship. I don't want to be with him anyway.

Has a boyfriend/​​girlfriend ever put alcohol/drugs before you?

No. Thank goodness.

Do you honestly have feelings for someone at the moment?

Of course.

Do you like when people call you things like “baby”, “sweetie”, “hun”, etc?

Sweetie, yes.. The rest, no. Or maybe.. :S

Let’s say you had a baby with the last person you kissed?

Oh my. Eurgh. I'd hate that.

Will this Friday be a good one?

Dancing.. So maybe.

Do you believe that love lasts forever?

Hopefully..

What’s wrong with you right now?

I can't tell if the person(s) I like feel the same way.

When will your next kiss be?

Tsch, I don't have a clue.

Who was the last person in bed with you?

Erm, I can't remember..

Have you been a happy, angry, or sad person lately?

I can be happy and said in the space of five minutes.

Are you wasting your time on someone?

God, I don't know.

What’s the most important part of a relationship in your opinion?

Passion.

What is the relationship between you and your number two?

Number two, as in best friend?

Where do you wish you were right now?

To live in Lancaster and go to school there.

When’s the last time you cried yourself to sleep?

Two night ago.

Is it okay to kiss people when you’re single?

Yes.

Have you ever broken anyone’s heart?

Apparently, But I don't believe them.

Have you ever been in a perfect relationship?

Never.

Tell the truth, what made you start liking the person you like right now?

The way he acted with me.

When was the last time you completely broke
Keep-Alive: 300
Connection: k

Erm, tends to be a) on my own and b) in my bedroom.

Is there a person that will always have a place in your heart?

Always.

Are you trying to avoid liking somebody at the moment?

Yes, I do try.

Does someone like you right now?

Yes, We've decided it won't work.

Honestly, have you ever kissed anyone with a name that starts with J?

No.

Are you nice to the people you dislike?

Yes.

Do you have someone you can spill your heart out to?

Not my whole heart.

What are you excited for?

Seeing people once more <3

Honestly, what’s on your mind?

We've discussed this.

Your ex shows up randomly at your house, what do you say?

How did you know where I lived?

Is there anyone you wish was still in your life?

I've decided no.

Is there a person that you would do absolutely anything and everything for?

Probably.

Have you ever really been in love?

I don't actually know.

Would you rather date someone who is extremely protective or not protective at all?

Not protective at all.

Are you a jealous person?

Not particularly.

Does sex mean love?

No.

Have you ever fallen asleep on someone?

No.

Honestly, if you wanted to get laid right now, could you?

Could I??

What’s something you really want right now?

Someone to hold me.

What was the first thing you did this morning?

I actually woke up this morning.

I have one HELL of a messed up brain. Am I proud of it? Sometimes. Not always of course.

I met two guys at the party:

Sean.

A lovely guy. A bit mad. A bit hyper (off all the energy drinks he fuels into his body) Cute.

Me and him got on very well. We played games, only him and me, Like slaps.. ^.^ Which was fun. I think he can tell I'm a childish person. Someone who likes to have some time to muck about and giggling at random things. He has facebook, and so we talk everyday, well everyday since the party. He has a girlfriend though. And I think they're happy. I haven't asked.. But he's the one who talks to me, which brings a smile to my lips. ANother bad point though, is that he's going to an army college. He obviously wants to go, But I have a fear bout such places.. He's going to take part in the dangerous life. The life I avoid contact with, the one i woosh away. And that also means that he'll be moving, moving away. Which sucks huge ASS..

Anyway, I met Ieuan.

Madder than Sean, protective.. not in an over the top way, as in he can take GOOD care of me.. (He knows I'm extremely clumsy) and just a lovable funny guy, who never fails to make me smile. I've met him once before, but too vaguely.

He helped me when I hurt my hand, he held me when he saw me looking a bit clueless. He swapped his band for my bracelet. He told me he'd promise to see me again, and we were also SO close to kissing, which sucks too.

And then there are people at school and other places.. Seriously, if I do go out with one of these guys, they'd better show me that they are my number one, and how much better they are from the rest, cos my mind won't take it if I still like other guys.. Unless I keep this quiet?

Hide and Seek - In the dark indoors.

 'Everybody, GO!'

Argh, where do I go.. I know, I'll follow Steven and Dan outside. No one else has thought of going outside.

'Heyyy! Can I get into the boot of your car, Dan?'

'Yeah! Go for it!'

Haha, No one will find me here!

'Dan, can you close the boot now?'

SLAM ARGH! What? 

Damn, My hand's stuck in the DOOR !!

'Dan, open up, QUICK!'

*Opens door*

*closes again*

'Dan.. I'm feeling too claustrophobic.. Open please.'

*Opens door*

Now where do I go? Inside! Okay.. Oh? Everyone been caught..

*Lights Up*

Oh crap.

'Ellen... I'm bleeding!'

Ieuan [pronounced- Yay-en] holds my hand gently and runs to the kitchen, we're still holding hands. He kisses it and puts it under the tap. Ellen is somewhere else. He looked after me that night. Hugging me when ever I did the sarcastic unhappy face. We swapped bracelets and so I have his Hug-Shag-Band and he has my dice bracelet that everyone loves. 'Until we meet again. I shall reward you with this and You will reward me with that.' So insane but lovable. Godammit. Falling a-fucking-gain. But heh, apparently he might like me too.. So close to kissing as well!

It sure is annoying when you want to kiss.. but can't because you're in public.. and you've only just met them. DAYM.

Ha, plus my bestfriend's brother, who's two years younger, and is cute, likes me too.. Ha.

IT'S 7TH GRADE..
I stared at the girl next to me... She was my so called "best friend"... I stared at her... Long, silky hair... And I wished she was mine... But she didn't notice me like that... I knew it... After class she walked up to me and asked me for the notes she had missed the day before... And I handed them to her... She said "thanks"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

IT'S JUNIOR YEAR..
My phone rang... On the other end it was her... She was in tears... Mumbling on and on about how her love had broken her heart... She asked me to come over because she didn't want to be alone... So I did... As I sat next to her on the sofa... I stared at her soft eyes... Wishing she was mine... After 2 hours... I Drew Barrymore movie... And 3 bags of chips... She decided to go to sleep... She looked at me.. Said "thanks" and gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I want her to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy to tell her... And I don't know why...

IT'S SENIOR YEAR..
The day before prom... She walked to my locker... "My date is sick" she said... He's not going to go... Well... I didn't have a date and in 7th grade... We made a promise that if neither of us had dates... We'd go together just as "best friends"... And so we did...

IT'S PROM NIGHT..
After everything was over with... I was standing at her front door step... I stared at her ... She smiled at me... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me like that... And I know it... Then she said "I had the best time... Thanks!"... And she gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wanted her to know that I don't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

IT'S GRADUATION DAY..
A day passed... And then a week... And then a month... Before I could blink... It was graduation day... I watched her... Perfect body... Floated like an angel up on stage to get her diploma... I wanted her to be mine... But she doesn't think of me that way... And I know it... Before everyone went home... She came to me in her smock and hat... And cried as I hugged her... Then she lifted her head from my shoulders and said "you're my best friend"... "Thanks!"... And gave me a kiss on the cheek... I wanted to tell her.. I wanted to know that I wanted to be more than "just friends"... I love her but I'm too shy... And I don't know why...

IT'S A FEW YEARS LATER..
Now I sit in the pews of the church... A church that she is getting married in now... I watched her say "I do" and drive off to her new life... Married to another man... I wanted her to be mine... But she didn't see me like that... And I knew it... But before she drove away... She came to me and said "You came!... Thanks!"... And she kissed me on the cheek... I wanted to tell her... I wantd her to know that I didn't want to be "just friends"... I love her but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why...

YEARS PASSED..
I looked down at the coffin of a girl who used to be my "best friend"... At the service they read a diary entry she had wrote in her high school years... This is what it said... "I stare at him... Wishing he was mine... But he doesn't notice me like that... And I know it... I wanted to tell him... I wanted him to know... That I don't want to be "just friends"... I love him but I'm just too shy... And I don't know why... I wish he would tell me he loved me"... I wish I did too... I thought to myself and I cried...
rest in peace My Love.

No one ever reads this. No one gives a toss to be fair.

I have three followers. Yippee. Well, to be honest they're all great. Well the two people I know are anyway.

But I need to be reassured. I need to know that someone is actually listening.

I listen to people's issues. Don't get me wrong, that's okay for me, I can do that. I can always listen. And I can give advice if they want. I'm always there.
But if a guy comes up to me. A guy I don't know. A guy who has loads of issues and needs me to listen to them, then that is too much. It's unbarable. Not only do they tell me their problems, with family, girls, school, friends.. But also their friend's problems too. I can't take any more of this.
They're not the only ones with issues. Every teenager experiences these things. We're new to the idea of love, friendships are different to a young child's. Thinks seem to pressure the mind, but all we need to do is have one of your closest friends to talk to them about, or an acquantence at least.

I can take much more of him. He tells me his problems, they end up being mine too. I only slightly know him. But he is nothing like me. He annoys the hell out of me, but I can't tell him that.

This doesn't only happen with him, but a few other friends. Listen to someone else.

I long for someone to love me. For someone to hold me and I'll be their's. I long for a kiss, a sweet, heavenly kiss on the lips. A hold so tight, a wouldn't even try to let go. Does anyone know how much it hurts to stand and watch by as you walk off with someone else?

So say, what are you waiting for?
Kiss her, kiss her
I set my clocks early 'cause I know I'm always late

What's the point in lying?

You want me, You don't.

You like it, you don't, then you like it.

One must be a lie.

Wind me up like a wind-up toy.

Let me loose and mayhem will be caused.

Tick, Tick, Boom!

hehe.

"Happiness is the secret to all beauty.

There is no beauty that is attractive

without happiness."

Christian Dior.

But it’s time for me to go home,

It’s getting late.

Dark outside.

Need to be with myself and centre:

Clarity, Peace, Serenity

THE GUY

who made my heart once jump somersaults, has

FAILED!

He did avoid me 

on purpose.

He expects us to be friends. I want us to be friends. But I can't. He betrayed our trust.

I had Emm on my back telling me to STOP stressing out. And I had Will (A friend) there too. <3 Some guys n' gals are just too great. 

x .Thank you so much. x

STOP

SEX TRAFFICKING

OF CHILDREN & YOUNG PEOPLE

thebodyshop.com/stop

This campaign made me think, and then cry. Please do something.

Because I've had a bad day.

Woke late for school, wrapped the presents, gave to Mom.

Get to school. All is okayish.

BTEC singing with the group, I burst into tears. Randomly. Tom hugs me LOADS. Comforting me as tears run down my face, mascara running.

My excuse: the songs make me cry. Tom: not convinced.

Get home from school.

And my brother has done wrong. Isolation AND exclusion on Monday.

He wrote on a piece of work (IT) that his friend, Mark (who is real) was a homosexual and died from Gingervitus (Not sure how to spell this unfamilliar word). He knows the meaning of the word, but he did it for a laugh. And now look at where he is now. 'Bullying' they called it. Even if his friend didn't see what Will had said about him. And plus Mum has to go into school on Tuesday and explain. 'Happy Birthday Mom'.

PLUS

The correct reason for his black eye, is not because he 'slipped' but because he put ice down his best friend's back, and then his friend shreaked in shock and swung his arm and hit him in the face. (And now HE is in isolation and excluded for the day - Because of 'Bullying')

And then I cried.

Will was shocked, 'Why are you crying, it's me in the wrong..?'

It was because I have been bullied at school FOUR times now. Three of these incidents I have told a teacher, the last one, I did not. This is what upset me. They didn't get into this amount of trouble, and my life is messed up because of them. My confidence went down through the floorboards (rather than up the roof) And their punishment was to apologise. How can they do such a harmful thing to me, and my brother and his friend get worse for doing NOTHING.

I can't stop crying.

Sorry Mom, I hope your birthday turns around.

Women say

"Men don't notice hair."

But they are wrong. Because,

They do!

Oh, I love it when James has his 'weird' obsession with my new hair cut. He wanted to know how I did it. He couldn't stop stroking it 'It's softer than yesterday, it's really nice.' 

Ha, I like my hair too. Nice 'n' short.

What a .. ehem .. lovely day  ^.^

Lunch avec Em (: Twas a normal lunch, eh? :]

Come home.. and whoa! I saw my brothers face!! (SUCH A LOL MOMENT)

He has a black eye.. well blue, swolen and huge. Sorry to offend but he looks asian. Like what I looke dlike as a baby, only it's the one eye.. first thought: what a fool he looks! Ha. second thought: In a fight? wouldn't surprise me, his mouth is so huge.. third thought: he's better than that, he must have been clumsy and slipped..

It was my third thought! Ha, he was running, slipped, hands outstretched, then they slipped, then he moved his face to the side and smacked the cheekbone. Well it's better than a broken nose though.

Sixth form meeting with Teachers, sixth formers, friends? Hm.. was quite good. All the teachers we spoke to thought i'd do really well.. Although we've cut English Lit out of the question.. I'm not gonna be able to do aall of THAT work! Maybe I'll do RS or Philosphy. Hm. Interesting.. Drama - WOO. IT - ID DO WELL!.. English Language - A new sort of thing, but I may do well. Mr McGregor remembered me and told mum I 'was' a good student. As did Mr Domingues + Mr Brown + Mrs Montgomery. Such great teachers.. (I sound geeky ;))
I'm so scared though. What if i'm not good enough. what if I fail the exams. What if?!?!


Meh, Mom said I was better at drama than Dance, which I was happy about! ^.^

But then we all argued about fish n chips at 9 30 in the evening, got stuck down an alleyway, Mum got cramp, and we came home starved. Plus the presentations by the teachers and students kinda sucked.. Monotonous, Long, Quiet.. Argh!
Good fun sat with Mom though. She kept nudging me, pretending she was asleep, Oh, everything was funny! Ha! I love my Mom.

Fuck, I come home, on my own. Fantastic, time on my own for fucking once! I'm on the PC, expecting people to call me. No one does. Mom (yes, i call her that) was meant to ring to ask me to put the stupid turkey in the oven.. She didn't. At all.

She comes home with the monster I call my brother.. Only he's more of a Bully. (Bruises are my evidence.. as well as scars and visits to the hospital) But yes. They come back.

'Have you put the Turkey on?'

'Have you cleared out the Fire?'

'I bet you've been on that bloody site Facebook all afternoon, haven't you?'

"NONONONONO"

Fuck, she's so predictable. She knows nothing about me. She thinks I'm really smart and just a little on the shy side.. Due to my HUGE lack of confidence.. Only me and her know about that, none of my friends know of that issue, and I am not planning to tell them. But WTH?

I get so stressed sometimes.. And so I decided to sulk.. Pathetic and childish? Yes, I know. But it worked. I shut my mouth, told my brother to fuck off.. which he will one day take revenge out on me for.. and just looked at Mom as if she'd told me a really old joke.. the 'oh really? thats old' look. Unimpressed.

Fuck, why do I get stressed? Work mainly. It's all a big shock, since when was I meant to start (or finish) my GCSEs? Sixth Form?? Since when? I'm at the age of 'legal sex' and that is pumped into my brain each time I enter the form room! Ach.. 'mememememe' they say! Selfish idiots. Well whatever. Go away please.

Changing forms next year and making new friends. Thank the LORD for that. :)

Hopefully I'll be able to take my anger out on my Acting skills.. Oh I wish I was that good for that industry. But everyone wants it.. So what AM I good at?

This is a random point of view.

Isn't it an odd sensation you experience: When you have eaten most of the icecream off the top, apart from the bits which escape and are inside the cone. You have to eat that part, or lick it out, which is the common reaction. But of course you feel weird, not only because of what you are doing (which is so different) but because someone might be watching you. However, they aren't the only feelings you get, you also feel pleasured with the taste of the icecream, and also the texture of the cone with the icecream.
A weird experience, a nice sensation, a lovely taste. (And by the way, I have just had some icecream)
But it's funny isn't it. 

Next thing you know: It's there, and then it's ALL gone. "Shame", you say, "I liked that."

What a busy day at school.. Whoa. I was shocked.. Lunch, no time to ourselves. 

I think - someone is popular, and it isn't me.

I'm sorry things didn't go to plan. If you don't want this to happen, just say. I'll try to understand.

Well I told my best friend. And things are looking fine. 8D

She's beautiful, wonderful, and hawt. (I've told her this) Funny, talented, and plus we get on! Score!



I can't wait for tomorrow, i'm also nervous too.. But sneaky is the key. God, school's a mess :L
I'd love to go over to your house after town, my love. You'll be the amazing one, i'll be the crap one.


Love you xxxxxx x)

Well my A-Levels seem to be sorted! At last! :D

English Literature

English Language

AS Drama!!

IT

Damn it, here's MY colour!

I'm a sixteen year old.. Ha (Feels odd to say such a thing) And I've admitted something to one of my best friends.. And on here too. Tsch, who cares, right?

But here it is, I'm Bi. There, said it! Phew. Stuff offa my mind. Now to keep this a secret from family members.. Now I have a perfectly good reason for this.

But yesh, said it!

So yeah, I spent half of my lunch with Emilyyy (: The other half was spent with my singing tutor.. (ha, she always tells me to breath) But yeah, Em was sat listening to some of it.. sneaky girl! :L Plus i hated the song I sang! Ha

Got home with WORK to do - DAMN school :'( And also Dad wants me to order mum something online, only no one knows what to buy her?

I have this feeling that I almost have a crush on everyone (and their pet.. but you don't need to know about that! Ha! ;D) but I fancy my best friends? Who does that? Just a little crush.. But what happens to crushes? You 'get' crushed! Yeah, and they won't have the same feelings.. Hm. I wish.

I enjoy to see your smile.

Badababaaaa!

It seems that Em has used a picture to use for her mood (Which is a fantabulous idea!) Although i wouldn't know what to put?

A mixture? Maybe! :)

Short but to the point!

Taken from Em, sorry for not asking. x

Ten Things I Wish I Could Say to Ten Different People. (but don't say their name)

10. You're taking an interest into me, But you don't go any further than that..?
09. You listen to me, thank you :] I love you <3
08. I can't believe you did that to me! Walked away with no explanation. I am not going to forget this.
07. So so beautiful and talented, i wish you realised this. I love you.
06. I stopped being friends with you, based on the fact that if we were friends, you wanted more, and so you wouldn't stop bugging me. I'm sorry.
05. I have a teeny bit of a crush on you ^.^
04. All of a sudden you want to meet me, or see me at school and have a LONG chat, but I never see you, and you never reply to me.
03. One lovely girl - so many guy problems. Choose who you want to be with.
02. Such an ace dancer, and you wish to have me in your arms, then grab me!
01. I long to hear your voice once more.


Nine things about myself.

9. I won't tell my parents something.. Only one thing. They won't ever know.
8. I don't tend to drink.. at all. I like to be in control and have fun without something to help me.
7. I've only been out with two people..
6. I find so many people attractive.. I can't decide who wants me back.
5. I enjoy writing, lots. But will they get far? Unlikely.
4. I used to dance LOADS but now i do about 2 hours a week, and i am still unfit.
3. My confidence has been sucked down a deep hole, only to reappear once more.
2. I wish for someone to tell me they love me and always have.
1. I long for adventure.


Eight ways to win my heart.
8. Glances in a crowded place.
7. Huggable.
6. Easy to talk to.
5. Humourous.
4. Can tell me anything.
3. Confident.
2. Charming - haha :)
1. Loves me for who I am.


Seven things that cross my mind a lot.

7. What did i just do?
6. People close to my heart
5. inspirational shit to put in my novels.
4. Lyrics
3. The future
2. Do they like me?
1. Need to lose weight! - just to be fitter


Six things I do before I fall asleep

6. Brush the teeth
5. Mess up my hair
4. Phone/iPod on charge.
3. Remove all makeup.
2. Diary.
1. Writing.


Five people who mean a lot. (in no order whatsoever)

5. Ellen
4. Josh
3. Libby
2. Kirsty
1. Deanna


Four things you're wearing right now.

4. My new 'Whooga' uggs.
3. Grey skinnies.
2. Blue + blue hoody
1. Diesel purple top.


Three songs that you listen to often. (At the moment)

3. For a Pessimist I'm Pretty Optimistic - Paramore
2. When I Get Home You're So Dead - Mayday Parade
1. Your Call - Secondhand Serenade

Two things you want to do before you die.

2. To be well known for something I do! (Acting - siging - writing)
1. Have someone!


One confession.

1. Erm, My brother landed me in hospital as i threw up blood over the staircase.

Reading Minds?

Okay, I was happy single, but i feel I need someone, I want that feeling again, that buzz you get in your stomach, the feeling in your heart, the twinkle back into my eyes.. I mean, the twinkle is still there with a few guys, at school even.. That never happens, and he's been there for as long as I have! Ha, how odd.. I just want to know if he shares the same feelings, and I know someone who might know. Are my hints not obvious, This is where i want to read minds! Please tell me!

Plus there's the french exchange boy, a bit younge rthan me, but quite good looking.. He's only just split up with a girl, but when he was with her, he promised me a kiss.. Ahh, that made me smile :L

Please Say! x

Feedback.

I was thinking to myself (quelle surprise) and thought.. 'Heh, i blog a fair bit, but does anyone read it?'... I know that the wonderful Em does (btw i'm really happy for you :D) But who else? I would love to know. I mean, if it's a complete stranger, then there is no harm in saying so.. But if it's a friend's friend's friend, who i have only ever seen, then yes, i still don't mind. I have no grudge, i mean, i read EVERYONE's blog because I am simply curious, and that's why they're there.. right? So yes, please speak up if you read this, i would LOVE to know. I have no enemies.. as far as I am aware :)

I'd love to read your feedback on my stories.. I have MORE instore. :)

Thankee you and Happy New Year, guys. x

New Year.

Okay, so I have decided that this year is to be my creative year:

One. Off to Ireland, on my own to visit the family, to babysit, to work at the salon, to help out with bits here and there, to cook for a few dinner parties, to shop everywhere.

Two. Started a new youtube account, this will be my third. This new account is to be used to upload the clips of my brother and my creations, using our artistic skills and also presentational skills. We're hoping to get many subscipters to join us.

Three. Writing my novels, I've already given you guys a few tasters, but there is much more that I have done.

Four. My art work. I need to do a bit more. I never took it as a GCSE and I regret that, but heh, it's a great hobby.

Five. Back to dancing this year again, more shows.

Six. Contact the nice drama lady at the Arts Centre and ask her very persuasively if I can join. I know they are full of people, but I need to, really.

Seven. My singing teacher wants me to try out different genres, worth a shot. Also there's the choir.

New years resolutions? I think not. These have all been started on. Cheers.

Back.

I am back from Ireland. I love that small island SO MUCH. I'm moving there when I can afford it.. (IF, seeing as everything costs a bundle..) But yeah, I'm back there after my exams, and then come home and then go back shortly after with my family for our holidays. We had three parties, I had three dresses, and now have shorter hair with an orange streak in it.. nice eh? :L

I've been quite creative over the holidays.. I've started about 5 novels.. Like intro's (the bits i enjoy to start) but now to finish.. Haha, oops.

I'm over him, once and FOR all. I've said this before.. But yes.